TMI??

WARNING: This is an emotional, spilled my guts kind of post possibly bordering on TMI(to much info.) and if you have no sense of sensitivity you probably won't enjoy it. So before you continue, ask yourself if you can handle this chick's-flick?
As most of you know Bryan had surgery on his shoulder a couple weeks ago; sorry that I haven't blogged on it sooner but trying to keep up on this place now plus with all of the other things that are going on is taking its toll. Some days I think I need to disappear; today might be one of those days. Anyhow, Bryan is doing well. He started physical therapy yesterday and already meets the phase 1 criteria(what ever that means) so they are going to proceed very slowly so they don't stretch anything. He had to have surgery because everything was stretched out and his shoulder was barely staying in-thanks to his muscles.
So during these past couple weeks I've been doing a lot reflecting on my own life and well,........ its just caotic. My girls are growing up fast. We have "created" quite the life for ourselves out here. I know that this lifestyle was not what Bryan had ever invisioned that he would have; horses, goats, numerouse dogs, chickens and cats oh and a bunny. Bryan is the kind of man that a small house on a town lot with a concrete and gravel yard was his dream, but then I've wondered, what would you do, really? Believe me there has been a lot of sweat, some blood and tears with this place but for the most part we wouldn't change anything, which I am very thankful for. I am very thankful that Bryan has let me chase some dreams and since I am not bringing in the income that I once was that he is still supporting me in some of these dreams/hobbies. I love you sweetie!! and thank-you!!
Through a lot of this I have become more of an independent and confident person in a lot of things(there is still a lot of areas that need work); some ways this is good and other ways its not so good-depends on how you use it. I have learned a lot of skills that have enabled me to help with the maintanence and repairs around here but do have a hard time asking for help( i think that is a common thing though with lots of people) but on the otherside, being a bit of a "people pleaser" I have a hard time telling people, no I can't do that and therefore end up running here and there doing that and this etc.......and the family ends up getting the "left-overs." Not good!!
I have struggled with being content with where I am in life and have often wondered a lot on "what if's". Don't do this-this will drive you ever the edge, seriously. You are where you are in life because ultimatly God has a plan and every person has a part. Yes, He will let you make your own decisions, all of which have a consequence good or bad but you can rest in Him knowing that He knows where you are, your not alone, and if you seek His guidance in all things and obey you can have peace and contentment. This is not to say that you will never mess up, have a bad attitude etc.... but learn and apply and it makes you stronger. I had to about hit rock bottom for me to come to a better understanding and realization that when you try to do everything on your own-it sucks, literally. If your not feeding the spiritual part of your being, "something" will always be lacking-can't run a 4 cylinder(physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) engine on 3 cylinders for very long before it just starts breaking down.
Okay, now that I have spilled my guts, I feel better so on with the post.

We took the girls to the park earlier this week. Jessie got some rollerskates from grandma that she need to try-they were a bit big but she did well. Marisa has really learned how to ride her bike very well so she was all over the place.

I little out of focus but still cute.

She's all limbs!!!

Ta-Da!!

Growing up way to fast. (sniffle, sniffle)